What's appropriate for the Forum

General netiquette

The Employers Forum is operated by M. Lee Smith Publishers LLC for the benefit of our customers, mainly those who subscribe to our newsletters. But if you're barraged with insulting or offensive messages, you're not likely to use it.

So we created some guidelines that boil down to this: Please don't chase away other customers.

What should I do if I think someone else's message is rude or offensive?

You have three options, depending on the situation and the people involved:

• You could post a reply telling the poster that you think the message was a bit much. It's quite possible that he/she didn't realize how the message would come across.
• Or send an e-mail to the poster saying the same thing.
• Or ask the Forum moderator to intervene. Hit the "Alert" link under the message. This takes you to a form where you can alert the Forum moderators to the post. We'll remove the message if we agree it's inappropriate.

I notice some people trading barbs or insults on the Employers Forum. I can't tell if they're joking, and I don't want anyone to go after me. Is there a limit on this sort of thing?

We ask that everyone treat others with respect, as you would at work. If in doubt, ask yourself how a message would sound if someone said it out loud to a co-worker at meeting (or in the breakroom for HR-de-har-har). Think of what your boss would say if he/she read your message.

Don't make personal attacks on another Forum user. Often it's the tone of voice that hurts, like sarcasm or belittling someone.

Keep in mind that your written words might not convey the tone of voice you intend, so they may seem more harsh than you intended. Emotion icons can help.

Someone wrote a mean and ugly message about me. Why didn't you delete it?

There are several possible reasons. Often, the moderator has a hard time telling whether a message is playful or mean-spirited, especially when it's between two Forum regulars. If we're not sure and no one complains, then we won't intervene.

It could be that the moderator didn't see the message (we don't read every reply to every message). Or you already posted a reply, and we're not sure you need help defending yourself. If you want the moderator to step in, just click on the Alert link under the message.

I've seen some sexual jokes and comments on the Forum. Is that OK?

We need boundaries, of course. After all, many of us are in jobs where we discipline employees for making sexual jokes and comments. If you're not sure about a message you're about to post, ask yourself how you'd react to an employee at your company who wrote the same message.

You can appreciate how hard it is to draw the line with sexual jokes, comments, and innuendo. If you think we missed an inappropriate message, please alert the moderator.

What about cuss words?

In consideration of others, please don't use cuss words unless absolutely necessary, and use asterisks for some of the letters, like z****.

Anything else?

You already know the kind of language that can offend others. For example, please be careful when joking about someone's gender, age, etc. Yes, we know it's in good fun, but we also know that some people can be offended by these types of comments.

Also watch out for negative statements about racial or ethnic groups, nationality, religion, gender, etc. We don't want to make offensive stereotypes.

We're all adults here, and HR professionals have to have a thick skin. We don't need anyone protecting our sensibilities.

Many of us consider the Employers Forum to be an extension of our workplace, or like a meeting of HR professionals. So we think general business etiquette should apply to the Forum the same as it does in your workplace.

Yes, many HR professionals have thick skins, but we all have feelings, too. We don't want to offend or scare off people who belong here.

Private message netiquette

Are there any restrictions on what I can write to someone using the Forum's private message system? Is it "anything goes"?

These private messages are unmoderated, which gives you the freedom to say things that might be inappropriate to post on the Forum. The price of this freedom is that you must accept responsibility for the messages you send.

We won't even try to define what is or isn't appropriate in a private message. Instead, we'll rely upon you to monitor the messages you send and receive. Before you send a message that's harsh or off-color, ask yourself whether the recipient is likely to find it overly offensive or rude. And when you receive an offensive message, it's up to you to speak up.

What should I do if I'm insulted or offended by a private message someone sends to me?

You have two basic choices:

1. Tell the other person to please stop sending you these types of messages; or

2. Tell the other person to please not send you any messages whatsoever via the Forum private message system. In return, you also should stop sending messages to that person.

So I have to stop sending private messages to someone just because they say so?

Yes. That's the only way this self-policing system can work.

Someone told me to stop sending them "offensive" private messages. Some people are so sensitive — how am I supposed to know what will offend them?

You have two options: Watch what you say to them in private messages or stop sending them private messages altogether.

When should I contact the Forum police?

Miscellaneous issues

Can I advertise or promote my business on the Forum?

No. We don't allow the marketing of products and services on the Forum unless they're affiliated with HRhero.com (meaning HR Hero products, M. Lee Smith Publishers LLC, the lawyers who write our newsletters, and theHRedge consulting firm).

For everyone else, you can't promote your products, services, or website on the Forum.

We reserve the right to impose additional restrictions, especially if you're competing with a product or service affiliated with HRhero.com.

I saw a really funny article on another website. Can I post it here?

Please don't post articles from magazines, other websites, etc. because we need to respect the author's copyright. After all, we wouldn't want someone posting our articles on another website. It's OK to quote a couple of paragraphs, or give a link to the other website.

It's OK to post those anonymous jokes and lists, like resume bloopers, that make the rounds from time to time.